Brief
SNL lampoons botched execution and carrier woes in Pete Hegseth cold open
The sketch, aired Oct. 10, blends jokes about the carrier’s plumbing problems, suicide attempts and a rumored televised execution.
By Felo News Desk · Published
Saturday Night Live aired a cold open on Oct. 10 that featured Colin Jost playing a caricature of Pete Hegseth welcoming sailors back to the USS Abraham Lincoln. The sketch referenced the carrier’s real‑world return to San Diego after a 322‑day deployment, citing reports of broken plumbing, supply shortages and eight suicide attempts among the crew.
What happened
In the sketch, Jost’s Hegseth arrives on the deck with an ammunition belt of miniature Fireball Cinnamon Whisky bottles, greeting the crew with a mock‑serious briefing. He jokes that only eight sailors attempted suicide and two have done so since he started talking. The parody continues with a salute to a sailor who allegedly held his bladder for 300 days, directing him to a nearby Starbucks for relief. Hegseth also announces a fictional “televised execution” planned for December, quipping that if the prisoner survives the firing squad they’ll have to fight Jake Paul. The sketch ends with a musical tribute that quotes Linkin Park’s “In the End.”
What the reports add
Variety notes that the sketch also introduced James Austin Johnson as a spoof of RFK Jr., who delivered a satirical health update, renaming cold and flu season to include listeria, measles and “trench brain.” Johnson’s character claimed catfish, pony and cricket remain “valuable proteins” and that recalled meat products had been tested on the sailors. The article points out that the sketch’s execution joke echoes recent news about Christ Pike’s botched lethal‑injection attempt and the broader debate over public executions.
What was said
In the sketch, Hegseth says, “Only eight of you attempted suicide. Two of you since I started talking,” and later, “It’s an American eagle with a Nazi vibe, okay?” The parody RFK Jr. declares, “America is healthier than ever,” and adds, “I would officially like to rename cold and flu season to cold and flu and listeria and measles and trench brain season.”
How it came about
The sketch follows the real USS Abraham Lincoln’s return after a year‑long deployment supporting the U.S. war with Iran, during which the ship endured extended periods at sea without a port call. Reports of plumbing failures and mental‑health struggles among the crew have been documented in recent news. The execution jokes tie into the high‑profile case of Christ Pike, whose lethal‑injection attempt on Oct. 1 sparked nationwide discussion about botched executions and potential public execution plans.
Key facts
- SNL aired a cold open on Oct. 10 featuring a parody Pete Hegseth on the USS Abraham Lincoln. (variety.com)
- The sketch referenced real reports of broken plumbing, supply shortages and eight suicide attempts on the carrier. (variety.com)
- A fictional televised execution in December was announced in the sketch. (variety.com)
- James Austin Johnson appeared as a spoof RFK Jr. delivering a satirical health update. (variety.com)
- The USS Abraham Lincoln returned to San Diego after a 322‑day deployment supporting the war with Iran. (variety.com)
Sources
- [1] variety.com — originally reported as “Pete Hegseth Is Unhinged in ‘SNL’ Cold Open Mocking Christa Pike’s Botched Execution and RFK Jr.”
